Wow!

Wow. The fasting part of this ten day journey is difficult! I think I made the right choice in weeding out a couple select items from my digestion, instead of a meal every day. The meal didn’t seem to carry much weight with me; I’m used to not really eating lunch anyway. However, my selections which I’ve dealt without have really gotten me to think about their place in my day… to satisfy me. Nothing else, it’s simply for my own gratification. No coffee, no Kopps, no getting food with friends just for fun. I still have my coffee at work in the morning, but believe me; it’s not for my enjoyment. However, I’ve eliminated food in a different manner entirely. I have a habit, a craving which hits me almost every single night… to simply go and savor something very basic, yet tasty. Traditionally, this would be chatting for an hour or so with a friend over a cup of black coffee down at the lakefront. My intention, to simply let my taste buds run wild and to forget about my surroundings for just a bit. It has been incredibly painful to deal without. I never realized how much this “addiction” has consumed me. I never thought about how I have avoided God when I become null to my surroundings. Every time a friend calls me to go grab a cup, I want to… so badly. As a result, this has focused my attention on God. As painful as it has been, each urge to head out for the evening snack has redirected my attention on why I am doing this… I’m doing it to grow. Now, I’ve spent so much more of my days and nights thinking about the presence of my heavenly father in my life. Maybe in a couple of weeks, I’ll think about this lesson and God every time I take a sip of coffee? Hopefully. In the meantime, the pain has helped me grow more aware of how I often search for my satisfaction with material items like food.

My thought for the day has been some lyrics from one of my favorite songs which I happened to randomly hear from my computer this evening. “Here I am to worship” by Chris Tomlin has been inspirational to me for several years now. In the song, he writes “I'll never know how much it cost… to see my sin upon that cross” This chorus has spoken to me deeply in the past couple of days, as I realize that within my human lifetime, I will NEVER be able to understand how much my personal sin drags me further and further away from Christ. Even the things which I convince myself are minor hurt my personal relationship with someone who died for me. Even something as small as not being nice to my mom in the morning breaks-down the relationship with my savior… because he didn’t live a life like that… he lived a sinless life, and paid the price of yours and mine with it, brutally! I would encourage any of you to Google the lyrics of this song and study them very carefully. Next Sunday in worship, try to think about what they are saying and how we can prepare our hearts to do just that. Hopefully, It will help you as much as it has helped me keep my heart in worship.

Tonight, I pray Lord that you will help us drive out our desires for sin in our lives. Sometimes it seems so right, sometimes it’s easier, it makes us feel better. Help us wrap our strength around these barriers from you, and work to crumble them. You have already given us what it takes to live a life solely for you. As we battle the weight of sin in our lives, I pray that our every moment will help us do as you’ve commanded us in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 to “pray without ceasing” and to deeply ask for your presence every second of every day.

Ben